Run,you old bugger,run!

DOWNER TREVOR ​ :     Breaking and distressing news:         The PM will announce that he is ordering the Immigration Department to start deporting old people (instead of illegal's) in order to lower Old Age Pension Payouts and Medicare costs. Old people are easier to catch, and most will not remember how to get back home! I started crying when I thought of you. RUN, YOU OLD BUGGER, RUN!!         Well . . . . .  Someone sent it to me and I'm not running alone!!!!

Texas Marijuana death sentence claim not true...

English: Marijuana plant. Español: Planta de marihuana. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There’s an article which has been making the rounds on social media today about a Texas judge sentencing a man to death for marijuana possession. To put it bluntly, it just isn’t true.

A satire website called Empire News put out an article about an Austin Superior Court judge sentencing 34 year old Joseph Goldsmith to death row yesterday after Goldsmith was picked up on his third offense for marijuana possession.

While you can’t get put to death for possession in Texas, you can get what amounts to a life sentence. It takes possessing over 2,000 pounds in order to get the possibility of serving a 99 year sentence, with a minimum of five years.

Selling on the other hand just requires over 50 pounds in order to receive a 99 year sentence.

If you’re Jacob Lavoro or anyone else caught with concentrates, essentially pure THC, the ingredient in marijuana which produces the high, it’s very easy to face a life sentence.

As few as four grams of concentrate can net you anywhere from five to 99 years. With the way the law reads, anything the concentrates are found in can be added to the total weight. In Lavoro’s case, they weighed the eggs, chocolate, flour, and all other ingredients in his pot brownies, which turned a few grams into about one and a half pounds.

Over 100 people rallied in support of Lavoro last week at his initial court hearing where he turned down a plea deal and his lawyer moved to have the evidence dismissed on the grounds that it was illegally obtained.

So while you can’t be put to death for marijuana in Texas, you surely can spend the rest of your life behind bars for it.

The last time a satire article swept across the web concerning marijuana in Texas was last year when an article put out by Tribune Herald told of a legislator dropping a joint in the middle of a legislative session as he argued against legalization.

By: Stephen Carter
Contact Stephen via email at TXCann@gmail.com

Stay up to date with the latest cannabis news from across Texas by liking Texas Cannabis Report on Facebook and following on Twitter

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The worst age of all...

by huttriverofnz

"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old.
"You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!"

"Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you can't even crap anymore. You take laxatives, then you sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"

"Actually," said the 80-year-old, "80 is the worst age of all!"

"Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old.

"No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."

"Do you have trouble crapping?" asked the 70-year-old.

"No, I crap every morning at 6:30."

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30.

So what's so tough about being 80?"

"I don't wake up until 7:00!"

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Grave robbing is a crime...

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A FINE WORDPRESS.COM SITE

GRAVE ROBBING IS A CRIME…

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English: The Watch House, Old Pentland Kirkyard Where watch was kept to prevent grave robbing by the ‘anatomists’ – see 968090 for a bit more information. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

by huttriverofnz 

A few months before his sixtieth birthday, George began planning his party. He called up his 30-year-old daughter for some help.

“Why don’t you invite all your old high school buddies?” she asked. “That could be a lot of fun.”

“I’d like to bring all my high school buddies to the party,” said George, “but I don’t want to get arrested.”

His daughter laughed. “Why would you get arrested for bringing your high school buddies to your birthday party?”

“Don’t you know?” asked George. “Grave robbing is a crime.”

http://huttswritinglounge.wordpress.com

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Let the sun shine in your life

 This story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face.

The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand “Today my best friend slapped me in the face”.

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone “Today my best friend saved my life”.

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, “After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?” The other friend replied “When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it . But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.”

Let the Sun shine in your Life!

Hitler in Paris WW11...

Man with 45 kg scrotum is raising money to fix his embarrasing condition...

A man with a scrotum weighing in at a whopping 45kg is raising money to fix his embarrassing condition.

Dan Maurer, 39, of West Michigan, says he is desperate to lose the root of the problem – a broken cyst which continues to grow – before he loses his wife.

"When I go out, people do look," he told KSDK.

"They try to be polite, you can see when something's not right."

Despite his concerns, Mr Mauer's wife of 20 years Mindy says she's not going anywhere but would like to see him happy and healthy once again.

"I haven't had marital relations with my husband in seven years," she said.

"When you say those marriage vows you either mean them or you don’t. I meant them."

For almost two decades Mr Maurer's condition baffled doctors, who told him to lose weight.

A strict exercise program shed kilos from his frame, but his scrotum continued to expand.

It was only recently that Mr Maurer was diagnosed with scrotal lymphedema, caused by blockages in his lymphatic vessels.

He says he must raise $20,000 for surgery in California if he has any chance of returning to a normal life.

"[Mindy] is amazing. Me personally, I don't see me being worth it. But to me, she is," he said.

"That's why I'm going through with this."

© PAA 2014

The worst age of all...

Royal National Rose Society Gardens - RNRS - The Gardens of the Rose, Hertfordshire, England | Red rose covered pergolas (12 of 12) (Photo credit: ukgardenphotos)

• “Sixty is the worst age to be,” said the 60-year-old.

  “You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!”

  “Ah, that’s nothin’,” said the 70-year-old. “When you’re seventy, you can’t even crap anymore. You take laxatives, then you sit on the toilet all day and nothin’ comes out!”

  “Actually,” said the 80-year-old, “80 is the worst age of all!”

  “Do you have trouble peeing too?” asked the 60-year-old.

  “No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all.”

  “Do you have trouble crapping?” asked the 70-year-old.

  “No, I crap every morning at 6:30.”

  With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, “Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30.

  So what’s so tough about being 80?”

  “I don’t wake up until 7:00!”

  http://communitybloggersevolve.blog.co.

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http://www.flixxy.com/japanese-tsunami-viewed-from-a-car.htm