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Saturday, April 27, 2013

Moral of the Porcupine according to Joe

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Do you believe in life after death?

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Quote for the day...

(Quote for the day):
" Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different result "
----Albert Einstein

Another quote for the day...

Quote for the day:
"Having children is hereditary. Chances are if your parents didn't have children, you won't either."
- Peter Petterson

Friday, April 19, 2013

Cash it if he can...

There was a man, who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, And was a real miser when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife...'When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me.

I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.' And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.

Well, he died.

He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said,

'Wait just a moment!' She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.

So her friend said, 'Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband.'

The loyal wife replied, 'Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him.'
You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?'

'I sure did,' said the wife. 'I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a cheque.... If he can cash it, then he can spend it.'
Thanks barmac:

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

'Granddad' - Robert William Service...

Plaque commemorating birth place of poet Rober...
Plaque commemorating birth place of poet Robert William Service on Christian Road, Preston, Lane
  • Today's Poem. Grandad.
    Heaven's mighty sweet, I guess;
    Ain't no rush to git there:
    Been a sinner, more or less;
    Maybe wouldn't fit there.
    Wicked still, bound to confess;
    Might jest pine a bit there.
    Heaven's swell, the preachers say:
    Got so used to earth here;
    Had such good times all the way,
    Frolic, fun and mirth here;
    Eighty Springs ago to-day,
    Since I had my birth here.
    Quite a spell of happy years.
    Wish I could begin it;
    Cloud and sunshine, laughter, tears,
    Livin' every minute.
    Women, too, the pretty dears;
    Plenty of 'em in it.
    Heaven! that's another tale.
    Mightn't let me chew there.
    Gotta have me pot of ale;
    Would I like the brew there?
    Maybe I'd get slack and stale -
    No more chores to do there.
    Here I weed the garden plot,
    Scare the crows from pillage;
    Simmer in the sun a lot,
    Talk about the tillage.
    Yarn of battles I have fought,
    Greybeard of the village.
    Heaven's mighty fine, I know . . . .
    Still, it ain't so bad here.
    See them maples all aglow;
    Starlings seem so glad here:
    I'll be mighty peeved to go,
    Scrumptious times I've had here.
    Lord, I know You'll understand.
    With Your Light You'll lead me.
    Though I'm not the pious brand,
    I'm here when You need me.
    Gosh! I know that HEAVEN'S GRAND,
    But dang it! God, don't speed me.

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Tuesday, April 9, 2013

The NZ Govt is to change the present law to allow the GCSB spy agency to spy on kiwis at home...


The NZ Govt is to change the present law to allow the GCSB spy agency to spy on kiwis at home...

English: John Key, leader of the New Zealand N...
English: John Key, leader of the New Zealand National Party Македонски: Џон Ки, лидер на Новозеландската национална партија. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Those who keep themselves abreast of current affairs will recall the over the top  FBI - led police raid on the home of internet mogul Kim Dotcom a couple of years ago - armed police and helicopters and all. His mansion, property and bank accounts were frozen.TheUS Government is at present trying to extradite Mr Dotcom through the NZ courts. The GCSBexternal spy agency had been spying on Dotcom; but he is a NZ resident and should have been protected from those actions. It has been reported by the media that another 85 Kiwis, citizens and residents may have been illegally spied on as well. In recent days prime minister John Key has announced that his government will simply change the law and allow the GCSB to continue spying on New Zealand residents legally. That sounds very much like Nazi Germany in the early days - change the law, and later - bugger the law.

THe GCSB should be abolished and its functions taken over by the SIS and police.


Tall handsome and misnamed...

Dick Van Dyke
Cover of Dick Van Dyke

A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said " want to be a movie star".
Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials.
The agent asked, "What's your name"?
The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian".
The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood , you are going to have to change your name".
"I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever."
The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years....you will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling you, you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent you"..
"So be it! I guess we will not do business together" the guy said and he left the agent's office.
FIVE YEARS LATER... The agent opens an envelope sent to his office.
Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is awe-struck, who would possibly send him $ 50,000? He reads the letter enclosed...
Dear Sir, Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood , you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.
Thank you for your advice.

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