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Monday, January 31, 2011

Wait until your number has been called, love...

A student working as a barmaid in a British pub.Image via Wikipedia

Wait until your number has been called, love...

Wait until your number is called, love! I really liked that one, friends.

One Friday night many years ago in a crowded downtown hotel bar, a very large, florid faced and balding man sat down beside me and started banging the bar with his fist.

A very busy and flustered barmaid with three pints of beer in each hand said she would be right back to serve him.

But the extremely impatient customer started banging the bar again with his fist for service.

Going to the cash register, the barmaid wrote the number 567 on a piece of paper and laid it in front of him. "Wait until I call your number, love!" she said to him.

Then turning to the bar she said," Now who has number one?"
I think that impatient customer learned a valuable lesson that night. And I had an enjoyable evening from then on.

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Saturday, January 29, 2011

The Men of Pike - in memory of the 29 lost at the Pike River Mine...

    In memory of the 29 miners lost at the Pike River Mine,
    The West Coast, New Zealand

    'The Men of Pike'
    They came from near and far away
    The men of Pike to work that day
    The afternoon shift way down deep
    Beneath the mountains oh so steep
    A long way in but further out
    The afternoon shift sets about
    A job not flash but hard and trying
    A job that holds the risk of dying
    From seventeen to sixty two
    They start their shift to see it through
    For one his first, for all their last
    How could they know there’d be a blast?
    For all at once no siren whining
    Suddenly the worst in mining
    Dust and rubble fill the air
    A loader driver thrown clear
    Just one other finds the light
    The rest are hidden from our sight
    And so we learn as news is spread
    The news that mining families dread
    It’s up at Pike there’s an explosion
    Faces drop and hearts are frozen
    Who, how many, where and why ----
    Will they make it ---- will they die
    Fathers, husbands, brothers, sons
    Coasters, Kiwis, Aussies, Poms
    Mates and friends who we are seeking
    Methane gas from coal seams leaking
    Vents exploded, phones unheeded
    Level heads and strength are needed
    The world above unites as one
    To bring the missing to the sun
    Rescue teams are standing by
    As holes are drilled and experts try
    To find a way that’s safe and sound
    To rescue those beneath the ground
    Could robots work where men are mortal
    To pierce the dangers of that portal
    But alas all effort fails
    The darkness of the mine prevails
    A second blast of rock and thunder
    Hope and prayers are rent asunder
    A nation weeps and Coasters mourn
    Pike falls silent, dark, forlorn
    A hole remains within the ground
    Devoid of joy, of life, of sound
    Another hole within the heart
    Of those forever set apart
    From those they loved who went to toil
    Digging coal beneath the soil
    Those who gave their lives that day
    To work a shift for honest pay
    They wait at rest within their mine
    The men of Pike, the Twenty Nine
    Acknowledgements: Sean Plunket(NZ)
    Thanks to Barbara, Lower 

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Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Check this out...

Check this out.


This year we will experience four unusual dates.  1/1/11, 11/1/11, 1/11/11 and 11/11/11.

Now go figure this out  - take the last two digits of the year you were born - plus the age you will be this year, and it will equal to 111, how freaky!!


Wednesday, January 19, 2011

How to make a traditional New Zealand Maori hangi...

How to make a traditional New Zealand Maori hangi...

A timeline of pictures showing the preparations of a New Zealand hangi.

Other Pacific Nations call it an Umu, its prepared slightly differently, but the basic priciple remains.

The food is steamed underground to create a unique flavour.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Not a day for the blokes...

GREENOCK, UNITED KINGDOM - NOVEMBER 18:  In th...Image by Getty Images via @daylifeA priest books into a hotel and says to the receptionist, "I hope your porn channel is disabled?"

"Its just regular porn you sick bastard." she replied.

How do you get rid of cockroaches?  Tell them you want a long - term relationship.

How many men does it take to change a light bulb?  None. Men like to keep you in the dark.

Whats the difference between government bonds and blokes? Government bonds mature.
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Friday, January 14, 2011

A meeting between a father and son...

A meeting between a father and a son...

One day in heaven, Jesus' secretary said, "Sir, I think you are working too hard. You should get out and meet new people."

Jesus agreed and went for a walk down the streets of gold. Presently from a side street he heard the rhythmic sound of sawing and spied an old bearded carpenter  in his workshop.

"Sir," Jesus said, "why do you labor so? This is heaven and your days of hard work are long behind you."

The old man whose face dripped with sweat, replied. "I had a son on earth whose birth was a miracle. I haven't seen him since he died. He knew I loved working with wood, and I thought if I make enough noise he would come and find me."

A look of stunned realisation came across Jesus' face.

The carpenter saw it  and stopped sawing. As he gazed at Jesus, eyes beginning to mist up, their eyes locked.

Jesus simply said, "Father."

The old man replied, "Pinocchio?"

Acknowledgements:  Public Domain Online


The ears had it doctor...

Dr. Schreiber of San Augustine giving a typhoi...Image via Wikipedia
  • .
    By Peter Petterson

    First published at Qondio::D

    A man arrived at work with both ears bandaged. "What on earth happened to you?" his boss enquired.
    "I was ironing my shirt when the phone rang and I accidently answered the iron," the man explained.
    "That accounts for one ear, but what about the other?"
    "Well I had to phone the doctor.

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Friday, January 7, 2011

Growing old as a gay man - Growing old is not for sissies, he said...

Growing Old as a Gay Man

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20 OCTOBER 2010 ()
We're all getting older, right? And I guess we'd all agree that's better than dying. But the gay world can be a harsh place for older gay guys. We put so much emphasis on looking young and hot, and having a beautiful body; it can turn the gay world into a scary place for men as we age.
Gay magazines and posters are always full of the buff and beautiful, often hairless which makes them look even younger. You don't see that many images of hot-looking older guys, and a lot of men say they feel invisible in the clubs and bars when they reach a certain age.
There are of course, pluses and minuses to getting old. In general most people feel more comfortable with who they are as they get older, and there's no reason for gay men to be any different. But the gay scene doesn't tend to welcome the older homo.
Sometimes they get stuck with the "dirty old perv" label, as if being 50, or 60, or 70 suddenly means what was sexually normal before is perverted now. Sometimes they get laughed at, mocked, for trying too hard to fit in. And the common stereotype is that old gay men are inevitably lonely. But mostly, so reports say, they get ignored.
That seems a real shame. A lot of those older guys are the ones who fought hard to get us our rights. A lot of them watched their lovers and friends get sick and die around them. Our world and lives today would be a lot worse without all that hard work those guys did in the 60s, 70s and 80s.
What really seems to upset some younger gay guys is the idea that these men are still sexually active. This is not just a gay thing - it seems pretty widespread across our world.
Once you're "old" (whatever that is) you're not allowed to be sexual anymore. You're not supposed to enjoy your body, or another guy's, in the way that you did when younger. There seems to be this weird contradiction in the gay world, that when you're young stresses sexual freedom and fun, but as we age, we're supposed to shut down, or at least have the decency to do it in the dark, at home, away from where some pretty young thing might see and suffer shock.
But older men still have the desire for sex, and can still be very good at it. They should be, after all the practice they've had, right? And a lot of older gay guys actually aren't that into twinks. When you look at the whole "Bear" phenomenon, you can see a group of men who tend to be older and very happy and comfortable with it, and they're not running after boys in their 20s, they tend to like men around the same age. You can be 67 and still have a great sex-life - you'd think that piece of news would cheer young guys up, not make them wrinkle their noses in disgust.
But more importantly than that, older gay men are part of our community, they're part of who we are, and they do deserve a bit more respect and welcome than they often get.
It pays to remember, every hot, toned, beautiful young 20-something will one day be old, wrinkly, not toned, and slower. One day we'll be old too, if we look after ourselves. So getting in the habit of treating older gay guys kindly and inclusively isn't just about being nice to others now, it's about our own future. When you're in your 50s or 60s, do you really want to be treated as an annoying sad old pervert? So let's learn to be nicer now, and pass the habit on because we'll all be old one day.

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Monday, January 3, 2011

A new year a rising and David Bain doesn't stop trying out his BS....

CHRISTCHURCH, NEW ZEALAND - JUNE 05:  David Ba...Image by Getty Images via @daylifeThere is a new year a rising, and I hope to heck it is better than the last one.

I noted that David Bain is trying to get compensation from the NZ Government for the years he spent in prison for killing his whole family - mother, father, two sisters and young brother.

He was granted a retrial and was found not guilty - not guilty, not innocent!

His man Joe Karam tried to get a million bucks from the NZ Government, and fell on his arse!

Let me tell whoever may read this: David Bain is not innocent, not guilty maybe because of the evidence provided at his retrial, but the evidence provided to his first trial and appeals was different.

I think most Kiwis believe he is guilty as sin! Give it up Bain, you're a bloody pain!

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