The buffalo theory of beer...

The buffalo theory of beer...

The "Buffalo Theory" of Beer...



A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.



This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.



In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.



In this way regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.



That's why you always feel smarter.


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The Kate Escape: Celebrities Without Makeup

The Kate Escape: Celebrities Without Makeup

Gunfight at the Ruiz corral...

Gunfight at the Ruiz corral...











Neither Wyatt Earp, his brothers, close friend Doc Holliday or the Clantons were in sight at the Ruiz corral down in old Mexico.



Gunmen from two rival drug gangs fought a ferocious gunfight that killed 28 men on a highway in the west Mexican town of Ruiz recently.



Police initially responded to a kidnapping complaint involving a group of armed men. As the police headed towards the scene, a second report came through about a shoot-out involving the same group.



Police discovered 28 men lying dead and another four wounded when they arrived at the scene.Ten vehicles had been left abandoned.


Acknowledgements: Yahoo News


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The Kate Escape: GBE2: Expectations#comment-form#comment-form#comment-form

The Kate Escape: GBE2: Expectations#comment-form#comment-form#comment-form

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GBE 2: Expectations and Plan B...

GBE 2

 

Expectations and Plan B...






Expectations and Plan B.







Expectations: The act or state of expecting the prospect of future good; that which is or may fairly be expected: the degree of probability; the value of something expected; the prospect of fortune or profit by a will.



Or so says my copy of the Chambers English Dictionary,my trusty companion for a couple of decades or more.



During the early part of our lives there are the expectations of our parents as we begin to journey through life. These expectations can or may change depending on our own successes and achievement.



Parents have a plan in their minds which they hope their children will follow. Of course this never happens. Coaches and managers of sporting teams have game plans, which may or should be changed if things aren't actually true to plan. You often here about Plan B of a successful side, or the lack of one in an unsuccessful one.



And so with life itself: Whether we lived up to the expectations of our parents or not, we will have our own set of expectations when we become parents ourselves. So we too have our own plan in our minds, and as I just stated above there is a need for a Plan B as well.


Community Bloggers Evolve

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Two Aussie soldiers will not face manslaughter charges...

Two Aussie soldiers will not face manslaughter charges...

The case against two Australian Army Reserve soldiers charged with manslaughter in Afghanistan will not go to a court martial after the judge advocate dismissed the charges against them.

However, the soldiers could still face alternative charges pending a decision by the Director of Military Prosecution.

Lawyers assisting one of the soldiers called the result "pleasing". The charges related to an incident on Feb 12 2009, involving special forces in Oruzgan province. Six civilians, including children,were killed.

http://anzacbloggersunite.blog.co.ukj

Hats off for Johnny...

Hats off for Johnny...

I recently posted about actor Johnny Depp's royal roots - he is a 20th cousin of Queen Elizabeth.

The lastest goss about JD is he has to the end of the year to do something about his HATS!

He has been given an ultimatum to get rid of his damn HATS. The 47 year old Johnny Deppe has previously been voted "Hat person of the year". But Vanessa Paradis is totally furious with his obsessive and out of control collection. He has hundreds of them in their Paris apartment - two rooms are full of them, even their closet space.

She has threatened to dump them in the trash when he is away - poor Johnny is horrified at the prospect, but continues to buy more.

Come the end of the year he'll probably just move them out and store them in one of their many other homes.

View here: http://wn.com/johnny_depp_fools_around_with_his_hat

Community Bloggers Evolve

The Swedish Vikings...

Swedish Viking The Vikings   Merchants or robbers? he name "Viking" was first used by foreign authors in the 11th century AD. Its origin is probably the Swedish word for bay, "vik". This shows the close connection between the people and the sea, of which they were totally dependent for their livelihood. They had a mythology of their own. Their gods were called "asar", The Vikings are often considered wild, drunken, merciless robbers. In fact, their main occupation was farming and trade. The Viking expeditions were mostly trade expeditions that sometimes degenerated to looting. But to be honest, there were also expeditions whose main purpose was to loot foreign coastal regions. The Swedish Vikings here is a distinction between "Swedish" and "Danish/Norwegian" Vikings. The Danish and Norwegian expeditions went westwards, concentrating on Western Europe and England. The Swedish, on the other hand, went mostly eastwards into modern-day Russia and further on to Byzantium and the Caliphate. Runestones and archaeological artefacts found in eastern Sweden and on the island of Gotland show that the trade exchange between eastern Sweden and the Near East was very intense at this time in history. These expeditions often started from trade centres like "Birka", situated on an island in Lake Mälaren, not far from modern-day Stockholm. The Vikings also settled in the Russian town of Novgorod, which they called "Holmgård". As time went by their influence on the economic and political life grew and became decisive. According to a chronicle written in the 12th century AD, the Swedish Vikings were the founders of Russia. Although this is not very likely, the influence of the Vikings is still visible. The name Russia for instance, probably originates from one of the names of the Swedish Vikings, "ruser". The way towards a state uring the Viking period (circa 750-1060 AD) the Swedish state began to take form. At the beginning of the period the power structure in Scandinavia was built mainly on small chiefdoms, where small local chiefs ruled over a limited area, often not more far-reaching than a large farm or a village. These chiefdoms grew in some areas and became more extensive as time went by. In what was to become Sweden two "tribes" or local "nationalities", "Göter" and "Svear" became the most influential and formed two "states" with kings as leaders. Later in history these "states" merged and formed Sweden. Even today we talk about "Götaland" (the Land of Göter) and "Svealand" (the Land of Svear). The Gods ccording to Nordic mythology the gods lived in "Asgård", the humans in "Midgård, and the giants in "Jotunheim". These places were situated in the world tree, the ash tree "Yggdrasil". The most important god was "Oden", the lord of gods and humans. After battles, he took the fallen Vikings to "Valhall" on his horse "Sleipner". Other gods were "Frö", the god of love and fertility and "Fröja", the goddess of love and fertility. The perhaps most famous among the gods is "Tor" the mightiest warrior of them all. He was the god of thunder and had a hammer called "Mjölner" which, like a boomerang, returned to his hand after he had thrown it. http://www.sverigeturism.se/smorgasbord/smorga

War raging between two internet giants...

 

From Huttriver8 comes this interesting story: Facebook is allegedly red-faced after a dirty tricks campaign against Google.

The war between the two internet giants reportedly exploded into the open recently after it was revealed that Facebook had paid a leading public relations company to run a dirty tricks campaign against Google.

The social networking site admitted it hired global agency Burson-Marsteller to place negative stories about Google in newspapers, magazines and online.

Claims and counter-claims spread across the internet recently, and the rivalry between the two companies was fully revealed for all and sundry to see.

Burson- Marsteller, who is owned by British group WPP, said it regretted working for Facebook on those terms and had terminated its contract.

Facebook obviously sees Google as its biggest future threat. Google has reportedly built up a big team in recent months to develop rival social networking products.

The scandal came to light after a blogger published an email exchange showing how BM touted stories on behalf of an unnamed client about a Google service, known as Google Circles.

The PR company allegedly said it could help the blogger write opinion pieces criticising Googles system. and then help it place the stories with the media, including the Washington Post, Politico.com and the Huffington Post. Nothing was offered to the Kiwi Riverman Post, however.

The blogger who I won't name here, did not want to pursue the story, apparently describing it as "making a mountain out of a molehill". Probably a good decision. He did post the emails online.

The controversy continues. Google has declined comment and probably won't take legal action against those involved.

Acknowledgements: The Times

 

Huttriver8

Liam Finn's Guide to New Zealand...

Liam Finn's Guide to New Zealand...



View video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cEOlK1c-kE

NZ TV breakfast host resigned over Indian race row..

 New Zealand TV breakfast  host resigned over Indian race row...

Paul Henry was no stranger to controversy as a television presenter New Zealand television host Paul Henry has resigned after provoking public outrage over his on-air comments about Delhi Chief Minister Sheila Dikshit.



He laughed a number of times as he mispronounced the surname, which sounds closer to "Dixit" in English.


View video here: http://www.jokesgallery.com/joke.php?joke=5500&id=1



Indian officials condemned the remarks as "racist and bigoted".



He was already suspended for suggesting that Governor General Sir Anand Satyanand, who is of Fijian-Indian heritage, was not a real New Zealander.



As controversy mounted over those remarks, made last week, his earlier remarks about Ms Dikshit resurfaced.



'Insensitive and vulgar'



Mr Henry, presenting TVNZ's Breakfast programme told viewers two weeks ago that Ms Dikshit's name was "appropriate because she's India

“


I walk the finest of lines and accept that I have inadvertently crossed it from time to time”

Paul Henry:

"I've known about her for a while and I've been laughing ever since," he said.



The remarks sparked indignation both in New Zealand and in India.



India's foreign ministry summoned the New Zealand high commissioner last week to register a formal protest.



New Zealand's government has apologised for the remarks, describing them as "culturally insensitive and vulgar".



Sheila Dikshit is overseeing arrangements for the Commonwealth Games in Delhi, which have been beset by problems. She brushed off Mr Henry's remarks but said they were "not appropriate".



Announcing his resignation, Mr Henry said it was "no longer practical in the current environment for me to do the job".





Ms Dikshit said Mr Henry's remarks were inappropriate He added: "I am astonished and dismayed that my comments have created a diplomatic incident. My style is conversational and of course unscripted. I walk the finest of lines and accept that I have inadvertently crossed it from time to time."



Prime Minister John Key said the whole episode was "sad and regrettable" but his resignation should bring "closure".



The chief executive of TVNZ, Rick Ellis, commended Mr Henry's decision to resign, saying his comments split the community and damaged New Zealand's international relationships.



Mr Henry has a reputation for controversial comments.



He once described Scottish singer Susan Boyle as "retarded" and accused a female guest from Greenpeace of having a moustache, New Zealand press reports say.

Microsoft tester dies tragically at the hands of "pal"...

Microsoft tester dies tragically at the hands of "pal"...







MICROSOFT TESTER DIES TRAGICALLY AT HANDS OF "PAL"...


http://communitybloggersevolve.blog.co.uk/



REDMOND, Wa - The Microsoft Redmond Campus was rocked by tragedy today as Paul Fitzgerald, Test Engineer on the Windows NT Team, was brutally murdered in an apparently psychotic tirade by one of the "personalities" of Microsoft's latest operating system shell program, Bob. In the small hours of this morning, Java, the "friendly" coffee-drinking dinosaur, burst from the screen of Fitzgerald's computer, cutting a swath of destruction throughout the hapless worker's office and into the accompanying hallway.



The beast was quickly subdued by Microsoft Campus Security upon failing to produce a valid Microsoft keycard, avoiding what could otherwise have been a tragedy of much greater proportions. He is currently undergoing psychiatric evaluation at the Washington Institute for Perfectly Valid Lifeforms Who in the Heat of the Moment Do Some Absolutely Naughty Things. Says Lars Opstad, chief spiritual healer and concert pianist, "It's touch and go right now. I don't think Java yet realizes the immensity of what he's done."



`Eyewitnesses say that they could hear the stegosaur-like computer guide screaming "All I wanted was a GOOD espresso" in those terrible moments before dawn. Said Rover Retriever, another Bob personality, "This is just terrible. Java was always such a great guy. Sure, he was a little high strung, but I can't believe he would do something like this. I think we need to seriously re-examine the stress that the Bob Personality group is under so that another such incident doesn't occur."



A possible precipitant to the incident could be Java's recent attempt to quit smoking as a result of a clause in his contract. Lawyers are examining whether this constitutes a violation of discriminatory hiring statutes on Microsoft's part. Microsoft Legal could not be reached for comment, but an undisclosed source asserted "We couldn't have him puffing away like that. He's a dinosaur, not a dragon. It would confuse the market."



Coroner's reports say Fitzgerald died instantly of cardiac arrest, but are unclear on whether this was a result of the vicious attack or the fact that Bob installed successfully on NT.

Bill Gates'adventures in heaven...

Bill Gates' adventures in Heaven...





Ever wondered what heaven looks like ?



Bill Gates died and, much to everyone's surprise, went to Heaven. When he got there, he had to wait in the reception area.



Heaven's reception area was the size of Massachusetts. There were literally millions of people milling about, living in tents with nothing to do all day. Food and water were being distributed from the backs of trucks, while staffers with clipboards slowly worked their way through the crowd. Bill lived in a tent for three weeks until, finally, one of the staffers approached him. The staffer was a young man in his late teens, face scarred with acne. He was wearing a blue T-shirt with the words TEAM PETER emblazoned on it in large yellow lettering.



"Hello," said the staffer in a bored voice that could have been the voice of any clerk in any overgrown bureaucracy. "My name is Gabriel and I'll be your induction coordinator." Bill started to ask a question, but Gabriel interrupted him. "No, I'm not the Archangel Gabriel. I'm just a guy from Philadelphia named Gabriel who died in a car wreck at the age of 17. Now give me your name, last name first, unless you were Chinese in which case it's first name first."



"Gates, Bill." Gabriel started searching though the sheaf of papers on his clipboard, looking for Bill's Record of Earthly Works. "What's going on here?" asked Bill. "Why are all these people here? Where's Saint Peter? Where are the Pearly Gates?"



Gabriel ignored the questions until he located Bill's records. Then Gabriel looked up in surprise. "It says here that you were the president of a large software company. Is that right?"



"Yes."



"Well then, do the math chip-head! When this Saint Peter business started, it was an easy gig. Only a hundred or so people died every day, and Peter could handle it all by himself, no problem. But now there are over five billion people on earth. Jesus, when God said to 'go forth and multiply,' he didn't say 'like rabbits!' With that large a population, ten thousand people die every hour. Over a quarter-million people a day. Do you think Peter can meet them all personally?" "I guess not."



"You guess right."



So Peter had to franchise the operation. Now, Peter is the CEO of Team Peter Enterprises, Inc. He just sits in the corporate headquarters and sets policy. Franchisees like me handle the actual inductions." Gabriel looked though his paperwork some more, and then continued. "Your paperwork seems to be in order. And with a background like yours, you'll be getting a plum job assignment."



"Job assignment?"



"Of course. Did you expect to spend the rest of eternity sitting on your ass and drinking ambrosia? Heaven is a big operation. You have to pull your weight around here!" Gabriel took out a triplicate form, had Bill sign at the bottom, and then tore out the middle copy and handed it to Bill. "Take this down to induction center #23 and meet up with your occupational orientator. His name is Abraham." Bill started to ask a question, but Gabriel interrupted him. "No, he's not *that* Abraham." Bill walked down a muddy trail for ten miles until he came to induction center #23. He met with Abraham after a mere six-hour wait.



"Heaven is centuries behind in building its data processing infrastructure," explained Abraham. "As you've seen, we're still doing everything on paper. It takes us a week just to process new entries."



"I had to wait *three* weeks," said Bill. Abraham stared at Bill angrily, and Bill realized that he'd made a mistake. Even in Heaven, it's best not to contradict a bureaucrat. "Well," Bill offered, "maybe that Bosnia thing has you guys backed up."



Abraham's look of anger faded to mere annoyance. "Your job will be to supervise Heaven's new data processing center. We're building the largest computing facility in creation. Half a million computers connected by a multi-segment fiber optic network, all running into a back-end server network with a thousand CPUs on a gigabit channel. Fully fault tolerant. Fully distributed processing. The works."



Bill could barely contain his excitement. "Wow! What a great job! This is really Heaven!"



"We're just finishing construction, and we'll be starting operations soon. Would you like to go see the center now?"



"You bet!"



Abraham and Bill caught the shuttle bus and went to Heaven's new data processing center. It was a truly huge facility, a hundred times bigger than the Astrodome. Workmen were crawling all over the place, getting the miles of fiber optic cables properly installed. But the center was dominated by the computers. Half a million computers, arranged neatly row-by-row, half a million ....

.... Macintoshes ....

.... all running Claris software! Not a PC in sight! Not a single byte of Microsoft code!



The thought of spending the rest of eternity using products that he had spent his whole life working to destroy was too much for Bill. "What about PCs???" he exclaimed. "What about Windows??? What about Excel??? What about Word???"



"You're forgetting something," said Abraham.



"What's that?" asked Bill plaintively.



"This is Heaven," explained Abraham. "We need a computer system that's heavenly to use. If you want to build a data processing center based on PCs running Windows, then ....



.... GO TO HELL!"

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